You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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