I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
