Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
