we have officially lost it.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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