Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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