one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
