I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
so let's talk penis.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
