Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
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