I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
