Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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