You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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