Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize