Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Randomize
