My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
