where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
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