I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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