I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Christians are straight up FREAKS
I want to make a zoo with you.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
