I must be too annoying 4 u.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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