i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
