Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
