nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
