Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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