if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
fuck your aforementioned shoe
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
