I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
