dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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