Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
