She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
