is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I would fuck him just for his dog
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
