So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
You're a waste of cheezeits
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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