made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
