Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
