I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
