is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
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