what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Randomize
