I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
