like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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