Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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