She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
