I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
