yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
