guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
