Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
