Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
