i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
she told me i tasted like america
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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