Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
