i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
