You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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