I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
