I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
