Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Im part way to drunk.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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