So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
