Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
