why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
